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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I just got the urge to write, i have nothing in particular to say...so I'm just going to go with whatever is on my mind!

I've been dealing with a friend moving, some unanswered health issues, several weddings, and life in general. I've become so stressed out that my escape has been running/walking while listening to a good song on the iPhone. It relieves my stress, it helps me feel good about myself and that's great but its not enough so I'm hoping this will help! I'm an emotional roller coaster right now, and to think that all I'm dealing with are such minor problems. There is always someone out there that has it so much worse than me & I know that. I've found myself so busy & I guess I do this to mask the pain & my worries. I'm worried about my test results, I know that I will be OK but I need to get the results back that say you are fine! The people in the Dr.'s office just take it as a grain of salt but those results could crush my dreams! I planned a trip to Arkansas already so that I know that I will not lose touch with my best friend! I hate that shes going, I'm horrible w/ staying in contact when shes 5 min down the road, what will i do when she is 9 hours away? I've completely taken advantage of her being so close, never thinking she would really leave! I'm responsible for so many wedding, what if i totally screw them up? What if i forget a minor detail that means the most to that bride? I'm so excited for all of these girls, that was the best day of my life and I'm hoping they get that same feeling. I owe most of that to my friends and family that supported me through the whole deal! I'm so honored to be apart of their big day, that i just don't want to screw it all up!

All of these thoughts keep haunting me, I want to ease them I want to know its all going to be OK and work out! I know this is all life people come and go, you have health issues but you learn to cope, the minor details of a wedding wont matter to her on that day b/c I've been there i know don't sweat the small stuff. I'm just completely overwhelmed! I need to step back and give it all to God, I can't control the majority of this! Please pray that I let go and let God! =)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

I'm gunna miss your Smile

So I honestly never thought this day would come, even though it had been talked about a few times. My dear friend Kylie is moving back to Arkansas. I really wish her the best but, at the same time I wish she just wouldn't go. I know that this is somethign that she NEEDS to try out so she doesn't live w/ any regrets, but I'm selfish and I dont want her to go.

I guess I found out that she most likely was going to go in about August, looking back I realize I distanced myself from her b/c I knew she was leaving. That was probably one of the STUIPIDEST things I've ever done. I've never really had someone that I'm so close to leave...I mean sure I've had a few aquantiences leave but never a best friend. Looking back if I could have changed it i would have , i would have cherished every second i had with her. Granted we did have a FUN summer but we could have had a better fall. I don't do well with change, so i guess my motive was that if i distance myself now later it wont hurt so bad. Take my advice and never do that it only makes you regret it.

I've probably known Kylie aka "MY SMILES" since i was 8 or 9 (give or take a few years), and through out that time we have made so many memories. When i first start thinking I remember her red car that she WOULDN'T drive, but anyways it had from what i remember a "gun shot" in it...i dont even know if that what really happened but in my lil mind Kylie had been shot at and I was terrified. LOL!! Kylie aslo showed Heifers, and she kept them at my house, so everyday she would come to my house! One time she had a crazy one named Dingo, well her and my dad decided to take her to the May fair...bad idea! While unloading Dingo, she got loose and ran across the fair, no one caught her! She ended up in a pasture close by, so we did get her back but she drug Kylie across the fair grounds!! Poor Smiles!! I used to ride with Bev to Kylie's volleyball games, she wore long tube socks w/ black rings at the top! (please keep in mind i only remember the crazy stuff...never anythign of any importance if you cant tell, haha) I thought it was great when she would ride home w/ us, i probably only did that a few times but in my head i did it a jillion times haha! All of my friends went to thier "Sisters" games and i felt cool b/c i had reason to go too!! haha! Slowly we began to drift, i was just that little kid and she was making her way into the world as an adult. I'm not sure how it happened but after a while she started working with my Dad at Emmert, so I saw more and more of her. I finally turned 16 and got a real job, or so i thought, and worked as Kylie's little slave! haha! Sometimes she could be the DEVIL, but most of the time we had a good time. Everyday at 3 o'Clock it was Hair Did'n time, i played w/ her hair and she shopped online! We had soo much fun! Once we talked her into taking us to the beach when Claudette (hurricane) came just so we could see the waves. I swear shes crazy she loves bad weather, just to sit there and see what's going to happen. So we went, they had the bridge shut down, so we lied and said we had to go get our grandmother! Bad Bad Liars, but they let us through and we were off to see what it was all about. Then i decided to go to Cosmetology school so we drifted again, things came between us but like always we got back on track! I started working for my dads company & we just got a lot closer. I had spoke to Kylie several times about moving out of my parents house, and each time she'd talk me through it make me spreadsheets, and finally i actually did it! So I moved into the same complex as her, and after that .... thats where our real story begins! We had the time of our life, man we had fun!!! I could go on and on so i'm just gunna make a running tab of the great memories that come to mind: walking everyday, Smelly Ellie playing w/Joseph & the ball, Coconut Lime Verbena Bon Fire, my engagement, my wedding, after the wedding shower going to Texas Roadhouse all dolled up, Stoney LaRue @ Big TX, mobile Party, River Road Ice House,Silly Tongue Pics, Hat Pics, New Braunsfels, Kicks & Armadillo, Cupid Shuffle (high kick), Monster Trucks .... almost getting killed by the mean man, Samuel Moon,Mooner, Noodle/Bean, my wedding, and then the day i found out it was really coming to end. Sure there are many good times i didn't name but we had a blast! =)

Though we have drifted a few times we both always knew that we were here for one another! I'm glad I've had this time to spend with her b/c there aren't many out there like her! She is one of the greatest people I know & I'm sad to see her go but I know that she needs to do this for herself! Its her turn to be happy, live her life to the fullest! She knows there is always an empty room at my house if she chooses to come back! I'm gunna miss MY SMILES! =(

Here are a few pictures:

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

A New Year, A New Me?

Happy New Year everyone!

So each year I make a resolution and normally it's one of these: stop drinking cokes, lose weight, eat better, exercise.... Same Ole' Same Ole’!! I usually make it to about Valentines Day and then I give up, so this year I'm trying something different. I decided if I started doing all of that fun stuff before New Years then it wouldn’t be my New Years Resolution it was just a new way of life. So my New Years Resolution is to become a better person in all aspects, be a friendly person, work on my health, have more patients, and work harder, and most of all just relax and have a good time.

Last year was an extremely eventful year with my wedding & buying a new home, so with all of that fun stuff came a lot of stress. When analyzing last year I realized that I need to step back and just relax, go w/ the flow. Don't try and be a super hero, you can’t please everyone. (That’s so hard for me b/c I'm a "people pleaser".) Sometimes I find myself freaking out b/c if I do this I will hurt this persons feelings and if I do that then I will hurt this ones, and so at time when there is something that I Really want to do I do what is more pleasing to others or, I just stand back and avoid it at all costs. This year I don't want to be that person. I don't want all of the stress and commotion; I just want to be that laid back person. I'm sure I won’t be able to completely avoid it but I want to do my best to just enjoy life to the fullest!

Last year was such a good year, there were so many milestones! My Favorite and most memorable we got M arried!! I had been waiting for that for seriously, 4 years and 11 months! Haha! (We had been together for 5) I knew within the first month that we would be together forever and I know that sounds so cliché but really! I used to write in a Journal every night before I went to bed & within the first month I had decided that he was the one! In fact Kylie wanted to take that page out and frame it for my wedding but that wasn't happening it was so corny, but so true! I really am a lucky girl, Joseph is such a great guy! He completely balances me out, he doesn’t freak out about anything he just goes w/ the flow while I’m doing the complete opposite (making budgets b/c I need to know where we will stand at the end of the year, month, week, also making tons of lists b/c I CANT FORGET, freaking out over the house being cleaned every day, you get the point.) He's such a handy man, he can fix anything & I mean anything! I'm so excited to spend the rest of my life with him! You know you always hear from people, oh just wait a year he/she won't do that anymore. I really hope we aren't "THOSE" people b/c I love all of the little things we do for each other just to let one another know we care even after 6 years!

I hope everyone has a very Blessed year!

(I'm glad I started this blog, sometimes I just need to write!!)